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| Autumn Reflections on Lochiel Lake - © Janice Brown, 2020 |
Time is doing weird things these days. For me, at least.
On the one hand, the days and weeks pass too quickly - filled as they are with chores and other activities.
On the other, the first year of the Covid-19 pandemic feels as if it's gone on forever and - worse - that it might never end.
A few years ago, I read an article that said the reason time seems to pass more quickly as we age is because we accumulate fewer novel experiences that help to separate one hour/day/week/month from another. By the time we're middle-aged, our lives are mostly long strings of familiar activities that blur into one another, making little impression and adding fewer long term memories. To avoid that, the author suggested we take a little time each day to notice how we spend our time, what we enjoy and don't, etc. so that we don't "lose" time simply by forgetting it. Of course, keeping a daily diary is a good tool for that.
Before I retired, I imagined I'd be making lots of new memories once I didn't have to drag my sorry ass to an office every day. Living through the pandemic is a novel experience for sure, but not the kind I had in mind. And dealing with its impacts has sucked time and energy I'd planned to devote to other things.
With two months of 2021 already behind me, I'm determined to take more control of my time - or at least my sense of it. First, by making more effort to notice the days flying past - the people, activities, and thoughts that fill them - and especially which feel meaningful and which don't. Second, by not allowing other peoples' agendas to displace my own - or, at least, not as often as they have been. Lastly, by doing the things that feel joyful and nurturing first, rather than waiting to do them only after I've finished all the chores on my list. If nothing else, retirement should mean I'm freer to devote my most productive hours to the people and activities that matter most to me.
Of course, that doesn't mean I'll always choose to do things that are fun and entertaining first. Often the things I most want to do are boring and necessary - like filing paperwork or organizing my clothes closet. What's important is that they take me in a direction of my own choosing, towards goals that are meaningful for whatever reason.
As for deciding what's meaningful, that's a topic for another day I think, but this article outlines some interesting approaches to the question.
Until next time...
