Repurposing lists

I've always loved lists. They help me organize my thoughts, keep me focused, and give me a sense of accomplishment. But they can be overwhelming too - when they're too long, or when the items on them remain undone.

Since beginning my repurposed life, I've made a concerted effort to keep my daily "to do" lists modest, and commit to tackling only one significant item over and above my day-to-day chores. But somehow I'm still not managing to do everything I plan to.

I'm not entirely sure why. Partly, I think it's because I'm so distracted by my husband and dog. But it may also be because some part of me resents the lists - or, rather, resents feeling I have to justify my existence (to myself? to others?) by accomplishing something every day.

An old friend reminded me last week that it's really okay to "just be" sometimes - to sit and watch the sunset, or hang out by the fireplace with the dog snoozing in my lap, or nap when the mood strikes.  She's right of course. There's no point making lists if I never stop to savour the here and now.

So, here's the plan:  I'm going to set aside some "do as I please" time every day - an hour or two when I give myself permission to do whatever feels right and refrain from criticizing myself for "wasting" time. If I use the hours "productively", great. If not, that's fine too. The point is to create a little more space to simply breathe and let my thoughts (when I have any) wander in whatever direction they choose. My hope is the exercise will help me rediscover what really interests me, so that I can begin repurposing my lists to include more of the things I genuinely care about, and fewer of the things I do only because I feel I should.